The sporkife

The efficiency-mad industrial engineers have done it again. It’s not just a spoon, it’s not just a fork…. It’s not even just a spork.

It’s a sporkife.

Extreme eating implements

Of course, the US company that makes it, Light My Fire just calls it a a regular ole titanium spork… because really, no one will buy something called a “sporkife”. What about a “knorkpoon”? “Forspoonife”? Okay, “sporkife” is sounding better and better now.

But clearly naming obnoxious rehash consumer products are not my strength. Taxonomy daddy Carl Linnaeus is probably weeping in the afterlife. But save your tears Carolus, for the real tragedy here is that people are paying $16.99 (trust me, I’ve seen these babies in action) for a plastic novelty that will go the way of all consumerist bric-à-brac: the waste bin.