Beware of the “info”nets!

I went on a mad privacy purge, no actually it was more like a privacy armament build-up a couple of days ago, thanks to @gorditamedia‘s re-tweet of Giga-Om’s post, “Your Mom’s Guide to Those Facebook Changes, and How to Block Them”. Whew, that was a mouthful. It was a day after I complained about how Facebook was telling me that I should link my profile to these pages they had so kindly connected to me, thanks to my profile information. The Giga-Om post then informed me that this profile-page linking situation was only one of the various ways Facebook was trying to be the one-stop data-collection hub of the Web.

The same day as my rant however, was Jessica Vascellaro’s piece in WSJ entitled “Facebook Wants to Know More Than Just Who Your Friends Are”.

Facebook Inc. announced an ambitious plan to get its tentacles further out into the Internet by better linking people, places and things, as it looks to turn a massive audience into a pool of well-understood consumers.

A centerpiece of the changes involves a simple button, offered to other Web sites, that says “Like.” For free, other Web sites can install a Facebook “Like” button that users can click on to signal their interest in a piece of content, such as a band or an article. The user’s approval then shows up on his or her Facebook page, with a link back to the site.

The idea is that other Web sites will drive traffic back to Facebook.com, and in turn receive traffic from Facebook. Other sites can also offer personalized modules, telling individual users what their Facebook friends have done on the site, such as review a restaurant.

It’s a good read and I am fucking terrified.

It’s not an “interne”twork anymore. It’s an “informationnet”work, an insatiable beast that I shan’t feed any longer. Except for the link-sharing on my wall, dangit it’s so handy!

Freedom of expression, radicalism and cowardice

On the recent two-part South Park episode (labelled “200” and “201” because they’re just sooooo bad) where they blast the absurdity of the impropriety of depicting the prophet Muhammad:

Jon Stewart killed on his April 22nd opening segment: ‘South Park Death Threats‘. My favorite lines:

The most striking thing for me as I ponder the difficult circumstances our great and hilarious and intelligent and sweet comedy brethren Matt and Trey now find themselves in purely for expressing themselves is this. The threats that they received come from RevolutionMuslim, a group located in New York City. Yeah. This group residing in the shadows, or should I say the former shadows of the former World Trade Center are allowed to praise Osama bin Laden, celebrate the anniversary of 9/11and try and intimidate the creators of South Park all while enjoying our lovely Theater District, our many diverse restaurants, including some the best Jewish deli you can find and our new High Line Park…

And these numbnuts get to enjoy it! All because we in this country value and protect even their freedom of expression. But as I witness the reaction to this episode, it makes me realize I myself actually owe a lot of religious people an apology. Not for making jokes at their expense but for not appreciating and thanking you for how well you’ve handled it.

RevolutionMuslim, you type in hatred and intolerance… That’s the enemy. And so. (music plays).

I say to you.
And I knows you get cable.
(Fuuuuuuuck)
And I say this to anyone who’s threatening death in the name of religion or politics.
(Youuuuuuurseeeeeeeelf)
Everybody.
GO FUCK YOURSELVES NOW.

I do love that little dance he does.

And Ross Douthat in an op-ed for the NYTimes today has similar, though of course less funny, thoughts on it as well:

In a way, the muzzling of “South Park” is no more disquieting than any other example of Western institutions’ cowering before the threat of Islamist violence. It’s no worse than the German opera house that temporarily suspended performances of Mozart’s opera “Idomeneo” because it included a scene featuring Muhammad’s severed head. Or Random House’s decision to cancel the publication of a novel about the prophet’s third wife. Or Yale University Press’s refusal to publish the controversial Danish cartoons … in a book about the Danish cartoon crisis. Or the fact that various Western journalists, intellectuals and politicians — the list includes Oriana Fallaci in Italy, Michel Houellebecq in France, Mark Steyn in Canada and Geert Wilders in the Netherlands — have been hauled before courts and “human rights” tribunals, in supposedly liberal societies, for daring to give offense to Islam.

But there’s still a sense in which the “South Park” case is particularly illuminating. Not because it tells us anything new about the lines that writers and entertainers suddenly aren’t allowed to cross. But because it’s a reminder that Islam is just about the only place where we draw any lines at all.

The sporkife

The efficiency-mad industrial engineers have done it again. It’s not just a spoon, it’s not just a fork…. It’s not even just a spork.

It’s a sporkife.

Extreme eating implements

Of course, the US company that makes it, Light My Fire just calls it a a regular ole titanium spork… because really, no one will buy something called a “sporkife”. What about a “knorkpoon”? “Forspoonife”? Okay, “sporkife” is sounding better and better now.

But clearly naming obnoxious rehash consumer products are not my strength. Taxonomy daddy Carl Linnaeus is probably weeping in the afterlife. But save your tears Carolus, for the real tragedy here is that people are paying $16.99 (trust me, I’ve seen these babies in action) for a plastic novelty that will go the way of all consumerist bric-à-brac: the waste bin.

No connection necessary, thank you Facebook.

Facebook wants to link my profile to these pages

I said no, fuck you very much.

Immediate reactions:

1. Creeped out.
2. Nostalgic (it was connecting me to things I had posted a long time ago, while still a wide-eyed undergraduate who thought Facebook was only for people in college).
3. Annoyed at being forced to connect to ‘pages’ its algorithms have very considerately identified as something of interest to me.

STOP TRYING TO SELL ME SHIT.

Oh wait.

I have to stop using it in order for them to stop selling me shit.

Am I strong enough to live off the grid?

…Thinking.

… Still thinking.

…I pretty much know the answer but pretend to deliberate longer for effect.

Survey says!

I look forward to the next presumptuous proposition from the goddamned social network that I will spitefully reject and condemn in another post.